“I hate being interrupted!” — Patterns

I’m trying something different. Rather than letting myself just sit here and spew out all of the things that I disdain about my current challenges in life and therapy, I’m going to talk about some of the things that are going well and make it the majority of this post ha! Don’t tell me if this feels weird to you because it already feels weird to me, but I’m leaning in alright okay shhh let me talk sheesh!

My mind feels so much clearer than it has in a very long time. I honestly don’t think it’s been this clear ever. That being said, my patterns still like to scream at me often. I just feel like I’m now starting to learn and understand how to manage them. I’ve also been finding/making more time to introspect on some things which helps to no one’s surpise. Interrupting old thought patterns with new ones isn’t easy or fun. It truly feels like such a weird thing to do. I’m glad I’m finally coming around to it though. Before, and by before I mean like the last 3-4 months, I’d been avoiding introspection. Whether that be focusing my mind on other things, or just straight up telling my therapist I’m going to introspect before my next session and then not doing it because “other things came up”. Even that example right there was me being too hard on myself. And it’s partially true that life got in the way of me making time for that, but I also didn’t make it very hard for something else to occupy my days rather than sitting with myself in thought analysis.

I’m proud of myself for this one.