Forward, II
Guys. I FINALLY finished the book I’ve been trying to read for the last three months!!! That’s a fucking win if you ask me. It wasn’t even a big book, maybe 260 pages, but still a win nonetheless. It was called Choosing to Run by Des Linden if you’re curious to read about a runner who went through a lot to get to where she is now. It was a good one! Got me feeling like I can run a marathon one day. Maybe I will? TBD.
You may be wondering, “Wow, Grace. It’s surprising you finished that book. How’d you have all that time?” Well I’ll tell you! For one, the book isn’t that big. It just took some good ol’ dedication and hard work. I’m very proud of me. Secondly, I got laid off this past Monday because of a mass reduction in force, and suddenly, I had nothing else standing in the way of me and that damn book! Obviously, it sucks to not have the stability of money coming through, and insurance coverage so looking for other jobs ASAP to bring that back. But overall, I’m happy with the outcome because no matter how hard I tried, it just wasn’t a good fit. I learned so much from that experience and am grateful for the opportunity, but it doesn’t mean I wanted or needed to hang onto something that wasn’t meant for me.
I was constantly wondering if that job was what I wanted almost everyday, so I’m glad to share that I feel so much more aligned with myself being unemployed right now. With all of the knowledge and experience I’ve gained, I’ve also realized what I do and don’t want. Looking forward, my long-term goal would be to work at the pilates studio I go to. I think it’d be cool to get certified as instructor one day, and that feels very full circle since hurting my back when I was 21. I’ll talk more about that right now.
The summer before my senior year of college, I went through a lot of physical therapy to rehab an old lower back injury that I hadn’t realized I’d gotten about 4 years prior, and spending the next 3 months doing so until it was time to go back to school. Up until that point, I had taken most of the prerequisites for nursing school as I had planned to apply after I graduated from Purdue. I’d always had an interest in the human body and how it functions so differently from one person to the next, and that’s still true to this day. But when I got the chance to see the physical therapy side first-hand, it really resonated with me, and I wanted to explore that. From there, I asked my PT during one of my sessions to see if she had any connections and what I could do to learn more. She happened to know one of her old colleagues worked at Purdue and advised me to reach out and see if shadowing her could be an option. I got in touch with her almost immediately and was given the chance to do just that the whole first semester of my senior year there. That first semester, though, would also be my last because I had already made the decision to graduate early the coming December. It was the smart thing to do financially, but it did cut that experience short which sucked. It made the most sense at the time though, and, in hindsight, I’d do it again. Plus, I knew it required a lot more than shadow hours to get into PT school. I’d need to take extra classes while also investing more money into it, and with where I was in life, I was by no means certain about what I wanted to do career-wise after college. Plus, I had student loans to pay off already, and thinking about adding more school to it didn’t sit well with me. I moved on from that dream and into the workforce – or so I thought!
Throughout the past 5 years, I’ve had to do on and off rehabbing for irritation/flare-ups of my injuries, and I keep getting reminded of how much I’m fascinated by this line of work. With doing pilates consistently for these last 5 or 6 months, I can definitely see myself being an instructor. On top of having access to further my education about how the body functions, it brings me joy and the least amount of stress which are feelings I’m trying to tap into. Funny how when you start paying attention, the right things keep showing up for you.
In this next phase of Grace 2.0 (😉), I’m putting more effort in running towards the good and doing my best to differentiate kinds of scared. I saw somewhere the other day that sometimes the feeling of fear is your courage shouting at you from within. It’s true. There’s a difference between running away from something because you’re scared it’s not good for you and running away because you think it will be good. I’ve done both many times, and more often than not, I’ve been choosing things that aren’t right for me. So we’re doing something different. Still scary but good! Coming off of this job, my priorities are changing in terms of what to look for, not just out of a career, but out of my life as whole. Sounds dramatic, but I’m tired of feeling like I have something to prove when it comes to the job I choose. It’s not how I want to be living anymore. What I am choosing, you ask? To chase joy and mental peace from this point forward. . That goes for everything. LFG!!!
Note: If you read that book or have read it, I think you’d agree with me when I say that it ties in pretty well with this whole post lol…also a fun coincidence
